Dear Elder Brimhall!
It's been an emotional few days! Friday night your mission president called dad to let him know that he was worried about you. He shared how much you've been struggling. I'm so sorry! I can't pretend that I know what it's like to be a missionary, but every single person that I've talked to that has either served a mission...or is a parent of a missionary...has shared how hard it is and how much they struggled at times. And often struggled for much of their mission. We all have our agency though. And just as I can do my best and give my all as a mom, I don't get to make my childrens choices. And if my children make a wrong choice, it doesn't mean I'm not a good mom or that I'm not doing the right thing. It just means they have their own agency and get to chose for themselves. Just like if people you teach decide not to get baptized, it's their choice. They have their own agency. Even though you know how much it would bless their lives, they still get to chose. You are a great missionary! President said so. He said you are doing all of the right things. You are obedient. And you know how to work. He said he doesn't want to lose you. He wants you to stay. The mission is more for you than it is even for those that you serve. You can learn lessons there you won't learn anywhere else. You are an amazing example to your little brothers and all of your little cousins. We all joined in fasting and prayer for you today. It's an amazing feeling to know you can make a few phone calls and send a few texts, and all of the sudden an army of people who care for you. I felt the strength of the prayers today, as I know some were said for me today as well. It's hard being a momma and knowing one of your kiddos is struggling. Oh how I want to throw my arms around your neck and tell you how much I love and adore you! But I also know you are where you need to be. I hope you know I will love you forever! If you decide to stay. If you decide to come home. Either choice can not change how much I love you!
I text President and asked if you've had a priesthood blessing. Have you? I love the insight I get from every priesthood blessing I receive...and mostly love to hear how my Heavenly Father is aware of me individually. He knows exactly how you feel. Have you read your patriarchal blessing lately?
Dad mentioned that President said you feel like you are wasting your time? Can you help me understand what you mean?
Also, dad asked me to send you some Axio. Do you remember drinking that at home? Bryson and I like to mix the Axio with a packet of lemonade in our big hydro flask type water bottle. Do you still have your "Elder Brimhall" water bottle we sent you for Christmas? We put one packet of the lemonade mix and one packet of Axio with lots of ice and water and drink it up. Yum! It's good for your brain too! We like to mix the Raspberry Axio with the regular lemonade. And we like to mix the Green Grape Axio with the peach lemonade mix. We drink one every single day. Let me know if you like them, if you like a flavor better than the other. (I'm sending it tomorrow). Did you get your "fall" package?
Your cousin Maddox is getting baptized this coming Saturday. It's also the Halloween carnival in our cul-de-sac. I will be in Tucson for the weekend with Savannah for a dance workshop.
President mentioned that he might have you see a counselor. Bryson has gone to see my counselor a few times and is doing somewhat better. I believe in counselors...especially if you can find one that is a good fit. Dad wants to have some blood tests done on you as well. We went and had Bryson and Savannah get their blood drawn too. It just helps to know what vitamins they need.
Are you eating well? Plenty of fruits and vegetables?
We spent the last part of our fall break in Greer. We decided to rent a cabin there when Grant heard us talking about Greer and said, "Where's Greer?" I was like...wait, what? How do you not remember Greer? We went to the pumpkin patch in Snowflake on Friday with dad's cousins and their kids and his aunt and uncle. I'll download some pictures from my camera and send a few. We enjoyed some drives through the aspen trees with the leaves changing, caught a couple of fish, played some board games, and made some good food. Pretty chill. But it was nice.
Jarom, there are so many people who love you! So many people who are praying for you. And cheering for you. And wishing the best for you. People telling me that they were excited to fast for you. So many people sending me texts saying "I love that sweet boy of yours". Aunt Jen "he is such an amazing young man and has such a noble spirit! I am so blessed to be his aunt!" Your aunts Brittny and Kody (not active in the church) saying they will pray for you and that they love you. Becca and her family just dropped by with a "bag of sunshine" and telling us that they love you and are praying for all of us. Randa said she was grateful for the chance to unite in faith on your behalf. Elder Brimhall, you are loved by many!
How was the baptism on Saturday?
Elder Brimhall, I ADORE you! That will never change! Focus on the things you do each day as you show obedience. Follow the mission rules. Feel the joy from living those rules. Focus on the growth in yourself as you read and study the scriptures and word of God. Do your best to make someone smile. Find opportunities to give service. Forget yourself and go to work. And know you're not alone in your feelings.
Love,
Mom
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