There have been a ton of emails written by you and Dad, and I'm still trying to go back and think about the things you shared with me. Whether it was talking about food, some quotes, pictures, whatever it may be, it helped a lot. I'm grateful President Taylor gave you permission to write everyday and the fact I could read them every night as well.
I expressed this to Dad in my email to him, but I really dont feel worthy or right to be receiving so many gifts or things from you and even from others. There's so much love and care that I dont feel like I appreciate it enough and that I dont deserve it. I dont want to tell you to stop, but I am not sure how I feel honestly. I've been given so much love and support I dont feel like I can show enough gratitude for it all.
To say the least, I have come to the conclusion that broken things are a part of God's perfect plan. To assemble a camera, you need little bits and pieces and other things but together to have that contraption. It took little things, that were broken, melded, and designed to perfectly function what it was supposed to do. Sometimes God puts us in circumstances that honestly, looks like it sucks. Makes you feel terribly and can really put you down in some cases. But I remember back to the words of the prophets that we have today and of old. They cried repentence, which is changing our wills to come in line with God's will. When we see with His eyes, and walk in His guidance, we see the reason for our trials, afflictions, and struggles and see the hope that comes from being perfected in Christ.
Recently I have begun to see something I personally never thought of before. I thought I was happy or joyful in having people to teach, that happiness came from people wanting to learn, people that actually cared about what I had to say. And I honestly forgot my own actions that I was taking. I missed my mark. When we focus on our actions and reactions within the lines that we control, how more frustrated do we get? You cant control someone's elses actions, but you can control your own. So if you focus on yours instead of someone else's, you are less likely to be brewing hatred or disgust towards others or even your circumstances.
Same goes towards ourselves though. How many times have we beaten ourselves about something we have done? Thats the key part though in that question, the things we have done are things of the past. What we focus on what we can do in the present must be our focus. Because we cant change the past, but we can determine the future we create by choosing to act in the present. I feel like I'm just preaching a sermon right now, but its something I realized from now.
I've been rambling for so long I honestly dont even know what to say. But this much I can say, whatever happens out here, its going to be recorded for the weekly emails and its going to be W-I-L-D. I honestly might have gone insane out here, but I was told in my patriarchal blessing I would experiene trials and disappointments, and yet there will be no greater time in my life than these years. If I'm going to be experiencing all these growth producing moments, I'm going to make the best of it. (If you could see my face you would think I'm a madman). I LOVE YOU MOMMA!!!
(This was made last night so I didnt see your most recent email until just now). We just got back from the temple so I won't have time to answer or talk about most the things I want to talk about. The blender has not come in yet, it'll probably get up to me next Tuesday. I really dont want you and Dad worrying so much, it worries me just thinking about it... I am extremely grateful though for your example of love and dedication to me though, and to others.
- Elder Brimhall
Elder Brimhall, Just sitting here in the parking lot...just dropped Savannah off for her school dance recital and had to park and read your email. Tears streaming down my face. I love you! I'm proud of all that you're learning! You are worthy of all of the love you are receiving! I wish you could know just how many people ask how you're doing everyday and are joining us like an army praying for you.
Just had to tell you!!!
Love you with everything I have,
Your momma!!
Thank you Momma. There's been so much love and comfort I've gotten I am finding it difficult to express all the gratitude I can. But I'm learning that I need to be more grateful for all these blessings and people that do love and care so deeply. Sorry that I made you cry, I'll try and make sure to keep the little miracles and victories of everyday recorded to everyone can read them every week. I've created a goal to work better on that and it'll help build my gratitude for the Lord's blessings and how much He is there in every detail. I love you too Momma, tell the kiddos I said HI!!
I expressed this to Dad in my email to him, but I really dont feel worthy or right to be receiving so many gifts or things from you and even from others. There's so much love and care that I dont feel like I appreciate it enough and that I dont deserve it. I dont want to tell you to stop, but I am not sure how I feel honestly. I've been given so much love and support I dont feel like I can show enough gratitude for it all.
To say the least, I have come to the conclusion that broken things are a part of God's perfect plan. To assemble a camera, you need little bits and pieces and other things but together to have that contraption. It took little things, that were broken, melded, and designed to perfectly function what it was supposed to do. Sometimes God puts us in circumstances that honestly, looks like it sucks. Makes you feel terribly and can really put you down in some cases. But I remember back to the words of the prophets that we have today and of old. They cried repentence, which is changing our wills to come in line with God's will. When we see with His eyes, and walk in His guidance, we see the reason for our trials, afflictions, and struggles and see the hope that comes from being perfected in Christ.
Recently I have begun to see something I personally never thought of before. I thought I was happy or joyful in having people to teach, that happiness came from people wanting to learn, people that actually cared about what I had to say. And I honestly forgot my own actions that I was taking. I missed my mark. When we focus on our actions and reactions within the lines that we control, how more frustrated do we get? You cant control someone's elses actions, but you can control your own. So if you focus on yours instead of someone else's, you are less likely to be brewing hatred or disgust towards others or even your circumstances.
Same goes towards ourselves though. How many times have we beaten ourselves about something we have done? Thats the key part though in that question, the things we have done are things of the past. What we focus on what we can do in the present must be our focus. Because we cant change the past, but we can determine the future we create by choosing to act in the present. I feel like I'm just preaching a sermon right now, but its something I realized from now.
I've been rambling for so long I honestly dont even know what to say. But this much I can say, whatever happens out here, its going to be recorded for the weekly emails and its going to be W-I-L-D. I honestly might have gone insane out here, but I was told in my patriarchal blessing I would experiene trials and disappointments, and yet there will be no greater time in my life than these years. If I'm going to be experiencing all these growth producing moments, I'm going to make the best of it. (If you could see my face you would think I'm a madman). I LOVE YOU MOMMA!!!
(This was made last night so I didnt see your most recent email until just now). We just got back from the temple so I won't have time to answer or talk about most the things I want to talk about. The blender has not come in yet, it'll probably get up to me next Tuesday. I really dont want you and Dad worrying so much, it worries me just thinking about it... I am extremely grateful though for your example of love and dedication to me though, and to others.
- Elder Brimhall
Elder Brimhall, Just sitting here in the parking lot...just dropped Savannah off for her school dance recital and had to park and read your email. Tears streaming down my face. I love you! I'm proud of all that you're learning! You are worthy of all of the love you are receiving! I wish you could know just how many people ask how you're doing everyday and are joining us like an army praying for you.
Just had to tell you!!!
Love you with everything I have,
Your momma!!
Thank you Momma. There's been so much love and comfort I've gotten I am finding it difficult to express all the gratitude I can. But I'm learning that I need to be more grateful for all these blessings and people that do love and care so deeply. Sorry that I made you cry, I'll try and make sure to keep the little miracles and victories of everyday recorded to everyone can read them every week. I've created a goal to work better on that and it'll help build my gratitude for the Lord's blessings and how much He is there in every detail. I love you too Momma, tell the kiddos I said HI!!
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