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November 5, 2018

I'll try and do better with writing these emails. But there is almost no desire to write to anyone anymore unfortunately. I have all these people reaching out and emailing me but I don't even feel like responding. Little warning right now, this email is more than likely going to be short. I had a longer email written of just more pure venting and I couldn't send it so I deleted it. I got a call from President Taylor about you and Dad reaching out, and I am very grateful for that. I'm trying, but holy crap I don't know how much I can handle. We literally ended up every single day walking for about 4 to 5 hours just trying to talk to people because we have no appointments and no members trying to help us. I am quite literally waiting for a miracle to fall out of the sky. But I did realize something.

Next Preparation Day is going to be on Wednesday because of our temple trip next week so thats a heads up. I loved getting the emails from you and Dad these past couple of days. They've helped out a ton. I'm glad to hear how Grant, Bryson, and Savannah have been doing as well. I dont think I got the package yet, but I'll probably get it either tomorrow or next week depending on what happens. But that is super neat to hear about Garrett and everyone else.

The one thing I struggle with the most is opening my mouth to everyone that I see. Since I still am super shy and awkward to talking with people I have almost no social skills. But thankfully over time I've started to talk more and more and its been progressing really slowly. Now I've started to notice in some situations the Spirit is giving me things to say I just struggle trying to open my mouth and actually say those things. Have you ever had moments like that? And if so what helped you most in just actually doing those things. Because right now I truly believe that I have a broken heart and have been broken for sometime now. And now I just have to keep enduring, even if it really really hurts.

I'm just trying to figure out what to do. Elder Singleton refuses to be wrong in anything, he will quite literally argue to the death for him to be right, and when he is he shoves it in your face. And I am getting really sick and tired of it. Especially when I am doing everything within my power to not point out his flaws or problems... I need all the help I can get out here because I am getting sick of it. 

I am honestly running out of things to talk about. And I am sorry for that. A lot of people have been emailing me back as well and it doesnt help that I dont want to email or respond. So if anyone asks just tell em I do read them, and I do appreciate them. I LOVE YOU MOMMA!! Tell everyone I love em.

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Dear Elder Brimhall, Hey bud! Hope you're doing a bit better than last week. Last weeks email was hard to read...but I'm also grateful that you're sharing what you're feeling. I hope you can continue to be that open and honest with us. Please don't stop writing. I don't think I could handle that. We got to talk to President Taylor again on Friday night. He said that he had just talked to you and you seemed to be doing a bit better. He said that counseling seemed to be helping some too. Do you feel like your counselor is a good fit with you? Bryson is going to counseling weekly too and I've noticed he seems to be doing quite a bit better. We went to dinner at Karli's house tonight. Garrett turned 12 last week and received the Aaronic priesthood today. Crazy to believe that Grant is next for that. We had 3 different kinds of soups, homemade rolls, and then Karli had made a double chocolate layer cake with crumbled up Heath candy bar on top. Pre...
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I heard about that from another email and all those posts on Facebook about it. Tell her I send her my best wishes and prayers for them. Be safe on the way there! That was fun to hear about Grant though, he'll become a superstar the more he works at it, and that basketball court will help out, tell him when I get back I'll ball with him!  Concerning that jacket, just something more casual, the only one I have is that big one from the beginning so its can get warm. Just something for the preparation days or just lounging around at night. Probably should have but more information on that request, my bad! You can have Bryson pick something out, I'll make sure to email him today and maybe he'll do the same. We had some really cool things happen this week though. We started teaching this older couple, Ralph and Terry, and they are such great people. Ralph is currently in a wheelchair because he lost a foot, and I swear the jokes he cracks are phenomenal. This is my f...
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